Northwestern University

We Are the We

You know them. We know them. Even that random Asian kid on the back of your econ class has at least heard of them. The infamous Northwestern celebrities are the root of jokes, scandal, and the very little debauchery that actually occurs at NU.

Maxine Hupy: Most freshman boys claim they saw her rack before actually seeing her. Very few students haven’t taken the time to find the Playboy spread of the Hottest Girl in the Big Ten, featuring the notorious self-promoting Maxine Hupy. Upfront and shameless, she was seen at most top tier fraternity events and intensely rushing for Kappa before graduating in 2011. Her younger brother, Rex, remains at school, as does their slightly uncomfortable and incestuous relationship that’s known school-wide (honestly, who does a dance number with their sibling, then titles their facebook picture “Incest is Best?” It’s just fucking wrong).

Chet Haze: “White and Purple” spread around campus almost as quickly as his reputation as a womanizer. Follow his Twitter to hear about his performances with Asher Roth and White Panda, head to Pike to find him at a party or chilling with his friends, or just listen to his songs to hear some graphic details about his sex life with girls you know on campus. He’s criticized for being one of the biggest tools on campus…oh right, and we’re sure being Tom Hanks’ son had absolutely no effect on his reputation. What a coincidence.

John Michael Bailey: The Human Sexuality professor made national news by allowing a live demonstration of a female orgasm with the assistance of a fucksaw during his class in the winter of 2011. Not only was that *the*only topic of conversation for all of winter quarter, but parents, alumni and Morty eventually got involved, and it concluded with a ban on his class for the 2011-2012 school year. We tend to think JMB shouldn’t be criticized for showing a girl get off, he should be praised….you can thank him when your boyfriend agrees to be more sexually spontaneous.

Whether from CollegeACB, personal encounter, or straight-up shit talking, it’s fair to say these legends will be known amongst the rest of the student body for…well at least until they graduate.

“Fame is for the fatuous,”

 WE love Northwestern


2 years ago